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why i started writing again

Once upon a time, I’ve been told that I write well, that my imagination smoothly translates into writing. But since moving to a country where the world is perceived in a whole different language and needing to write essays at school, writing leisurely eventually became a thing that I’d avoid. My Chinese literacy skills slowly slips away and I didn’t want to put in the hard work to step up my writing game in English.

The longer I’ve left my pen alone, the harder it became to pick it back up.

There has always been that underlying fear of being judged. “What if people hate me for what I said?”, ” What if people think I’m dumb?”, “It’s just going to be disappointing to read”, Why share something that’s not even that good?”. These fears hold me back from writing. I didn’t want to put myself in that vulnerable position where my thoughts are out in the open for everyone to see. But being a human with the other 7.5 million of you made me realise that keeping everything to myself is just a bit selfish. Every one of us are vulnerable beings who are not so perfect, and so am I. There is so much we can each offer if we are willing, and I gathered that what we need is not one perfect idea, but many little humble imperfect ideas.

They say you should do the things you fear the most, at least make an attempt to conquer the fear. So yes, this is me giving a go at what I’ve been avoiding for a long time. Partly because I want to share something with you, but more of proving to my irrational fears that they are not as important and true as they claim to be.

It might not great, but this is me, maybe oversharing. Like it or not, here I am.


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